You Know You Are In Shenzhen When…

Borrowing from “You Know You’re a Redneck When…” Ping has had some fun crafting a tale about some local observations he has made while in China.

                             

Everybody is speaking Chinese – loudly

Everything is written in Chinese, including the directions on the washer and dryer

Everyone has an electronic device on the subway. Some people juggle two or three, and if they are on the phone - see number 1

Toilets are porcelain holes in the ground – if you are lucky

Toddler’s pants are made with holes in the crotch, thus making it easy for their caretakers to hold the child above a tree’s roots, along the sidewalk, to eliminate body waste. It is a very common sight to see people doing this almost anywhere. Ping even watched a grandmother hoist a child over a concert hall’s potted palm plant just meters away from the restroom and he just let ‘er rip!

Shoes are frequently removed before entering a house (especially workmen). (See above)

Taxi drivers are like teenage amphetamine abusers in a getaway car

Half of the population seems to be spitting, hawking loogies and snot rockets onto the street; it happens often and is commonplace among men and women of all ages

While dodging the aforementioned wet spots you need to play a game of chicken while walking in this crowded city. Locals trudge straight for you and dodge within one second before the seemingly impending crash

Nationals throw trash on the ground or leave tissues on the train floor for other people to pick up. And people seem to come from nowhere to do just that.  They come equipped with homemade brooms fashioned out of palm tree leaves and dustbins made out of old 5 gallon peanut oil cans

Stores have cages of chickens, pheasants, bunnies and more outside on the street as well as aquariums full of fish, frogs, and turtles… And these are not pet shops, but restaurants. (Think Red Lobster!)

Beggars drag the fresh corpse of a relative to a busy corner of an intersection to wail for burial money

The dates on all perishables have expired

80% of the women either dress like short-skirted baby dolls or Julia Robert’s character in “Pretty Woman,” thus prompting Ping to call out “Pretty Woman” instead of “Punch Buggy”
80% of the men act and dress effeminately and wear hairstyles and clothing that would impress the New York City folk
90% of these men carry “murses” – or male purses, and often an additional bag, and they carry their female companion’s purse as well (see above)

And YOU are the one getting stared at!

Posted by EddyTour-In-Chief: Doug

A Room With A View

Conveniently located just across the border from Hong Kong, the city of Shenzhen is a great place to start your discovery of China. Described as the window of China’s opening up policy, Shenzhen was recently judged the most livable and third most beautiful city in China. To find out more about Shenzhen see:

http://discoverchina.info/visit_shenzhen/about_shenzhen/

Well, it turns out that Roy was not the one coming to the Honk Kong Airport, but rather he was coming in at the same time (He was flying in from Saipan) as we were, and we were both met by a car/van service. The hotel pictured at the end of the previous blog entry was actually a shot taken as we were loading the shuttle. After careful scrutiny by the “Checkpoint” officials, one of which got out of the booth to take a closer look, he was making sure the face under that head full of growing curly locks matched the close-cropped face of the passport picture, we were on the way to our new “home” at the Four Points by Sheraton “Service” apartments right next to the very fancy hotel. We didn’t meet any of the Mentor Teachers until we were actually on the nicely landscaped grounds and Ping was very happy and relieved to see the smiling face of his old friend, Mary. Mary introduced us to Kathy (who had been in Shenzhen the longest) and another Mentor Teacher, Peggy. We also met our “assistant” or “living arrangement liaison,” Kim, a native who was from the Beijing Ideal School Institute (BISI). She was to show us to our rooms. It was still very early in the morning for us, although it was around 10PM for them, and the jetlag was beginning to set in, but everyone was in a jolly good mood.

It was explained to us that there were three rooms to choose from, but only two were available at the moment. Hmmm, did that mean won’t get settled, yet? Kathy seemed to get great joy out of explaining to Kim the “American practice” of flipping a coin to make a fair decision.

Did you know?      

“The historical origin of coin flipping is the interpretation of a chance outcome as the expression of divine will. Coin flipping as a game was known to the Romans as navia aut caput ("ship or head"), as some coins had a ship on one side and the head of the emperor on the other.” (Wikipedia!)

Huh! So, the coin was flipped, called, and Roy got the 2^nd choice of rooms. Kim and crew showed us two of the rooms. The first was smaller than the second, but had a nice view – even at night. The second seemed much larger, but rectangular and only had 3 windowpanes. There we met James, another Mentor Teacher, who could hear us through the walls! Ping decided he wanted a view where he could see the water and look for any family members he may find. So, the decision was made. Although, Kim reminded us, there was still another room to look at tomorrow (which ended up being two days later…) and Ping thought it only fair that Roy get first dibs on that room. Bags were put in the accorded rooms and we were off to the 2^nd floor to meet any other Mentor teachers that might be there having a snack and/or drink. There we met the rest of the clan as we joined the boys in the bar; Dan, Rob and Travis. That’s nine, right? Oops, 10 with Ping! J

It was a nice lounge and we were seated in a comfortable circular couch. Mary suggested the Watermelon Juice and guess what? It tasted like eating a watermelon without the seeds! It was made fresh, right on the premises, which is customary around here! Yummy. We had snacks of peanuts and popcorn, too. I also learned that tomorrow I would be off to the China (Shenzhen) International Personnel Training Center (the other company who works with BISI) to process all sorts of paperwork, including a trip to the Health Office. No one told us they would be drawing blood once we got here. Ping does not like that!

Finally, it was time to go to bed. Although it was early, we were worn out and could not keep up with all the data input coming at once! Just getting to the room on the 20^th floor (20J) to unpack, and relax, was a priority. So, we bid adieu and were off for a nice rest – or so we thought.

Although there still was another room to look at, it was hard not to simply unpack a few things, just to feel a sense of completion. Plus, a few of the other Mentors had given us a “Care-Package” as the room did not come with sheets, pillows, toilet paper, or towels! So much for “Hotel-like accommodations” – which will be a rub for quite some time. Therefore, to even lay down, one had to put the fresh sheets on the bed, etc. The room was not very clean, either, so we knew we’d have to take care of some things before even lying down.

Ping unpacked a bit (it was only noon according to his downy body-clock) checking items against his packing list. Yes, Ping has OCPD, that’s a “P-ersonality trait! The beautiful view with 7 windowpanes was intoxicating. The lights of the city and those of Hong Kong in the distance were already influencing us to stay in this room. BUT – Finding a rope of Christmas Lights hiding in the ceiling illuminating the windows and marble counters below the windows made the final decision. THIS was THE room!

So, we began to fill the room divider with trinkets from home. The divider was built as a wall full of rectangular holes, with lights included, and provided a virtual separation between the living space and the queen-size bed. It was very dusty. Luckily, Mary had suggested bringing antibacterial wipes. Unknown to Ping at the time, while disembarking, the wipes had rolled out of the backpack and were almost left on the plane! Were it not for a final OCPD extra “Pat-Pat Down” resulting in their discovery the wipes would have been history and the entire room would have never been scoured! Yay! Now suitcases could be unloaded and items put away in a very sensible order. Even the suitcases seemed at home as they fit above the small refrigerator once they were zipped into each other. Ah, ‘Home Sweet Home’ in the room with a pretty and expansive view.

Next, the view in the morning displayed itself. WOW! Even better than the night before! The room is now ravishing, with a truly magnificent view. One can easily imagine the bells of Florence chiming out! (Movie reference) The Shenzhen River (or He) is flowing below (bringing good Chi), there are rice paddies beyond it with birds and beauty, and beyond that the lovely mountain peaks and valleys which guard the South China Sea, and with the white buildings of Hong Kong reaching to the sky piercing the salty air with their glistening reflections. Truly the stuff of dreams. Parts of Shenzhen, including a bridge with lovely modern architecture are visible to the right and the left, as well. Oh, Goody! Good night, good day, good decisions. Good call, Ping!

Posted by EddyTour-In-Chief: Doug